Finally A Champion
Labels: Sports
A Religious Boyfriend
The pharmacist gives him the condom and as the young man is going out, he returns and tell him, "Give me another condom because my girlfriend's sister is very cute, too. She always crossed her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me and I think she expects something from me too."
The pharmacist gives him a second condom and as the boy is leaving he turns back again and says, "After all, give me one more condom because my girlfriend's mom is still pretty cute and when she sees me she always make illusions... and since she invited me for dinner, I think she is expecting something from me!"
At the dinner table, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his left, the sister on his right and the mom facing him. When the dad gets there, the boy lower his head and start praying, "Dear Lord, bless this dinner... thank You for all You've given us...!!!"
A minute later the boy still praying: "Thank You Lord for your kindness..." Ten minutes go on and the boy is still praying, keeping his head down. The others look at each other surprised and his girlfriend even more than the others. She gets close to the boy and whispers in his ear, "I didn't know you were so religious!!!"
The boy replies, "I didn't know your dad was a PHARMACIST!!!"
Labels: Funny
Another Blogista on the Spot now on Alexa
Another Blogista on the Spot is now on Alexa rankings. It was "n/a" for previous months I have been looking for it through my toolbar everyday. And just this day i have made it to the Alexa. The traffic rank is 9,690,853. check the screenshot..
I know its just a minimal rank. But am still happy to make it into the Alexa. YEAH!
Labels: Blogging
Old Erap Jokes to Celebrate His Release
Save!
FVR, Cory and Erap, are about to be executed in front of a firing squad. Each of them is blindfolded and given the chance to call upon the forces of nature to save them. The executioner starts the countdown: "10, 9, 8,....".
FVR shouts, "Flood!". In a sudden, a big wave came. FVR was able to escape because of the commotion.
It's Cory's turn. She shouts: "Earthquake!". The people watching the execution panicked. She was able to escape.
Erap was wondering what calamity to call. The executioner started counting again: "10, 9, 8, 7....". Erap had a mental block. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1...."
Erap shouted: "Fire!".
Logic Lang Iyan
One day, Erap sees Pres. Ramos reading a book on logic.
Erap : Fidel, mahirap yata iyang binabasa mong libro.
Ramos : Hindi, logic lang ito, madali lang.
Erap : Ano ba yang logic na yan, hindi ko yata alam yan.
Ramos : Ganito lang yan, may aquarium ka ba sa bahay?
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : Kung may aquarium ka, eh di mahilig ka sa isda.
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : At kung mahilig ka sa isda, mahilig ka rin sa dagat.
Erap: Oo.
Ramos ; Eh di kung mahilig ka sa dagat, gusto mo pumupunta sa beach.
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : At kung mahilig kang pumunta sa beach, mahilig ka sa babaeng naka-bathing suit.
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : Eh kung mahilig ka sa mga seksing babae, eh di lalakeng - lalaki ka.
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : Eh kung lalakeng - lalaki ka, eh di macho ka.
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : Kita mo na, ganyan lang ang logic!
Erap : Okey pala yang logic na yan, ah!
The following day, Erap sees Maceda in the Senate . . . .
Erap : Pare,Maceda, susubukan ko lang itong tinuro sa aking logic ni Ramos.
Maceda : Sige nga!
Erap : May aquarium ka ba sa bahay?
Maceda : Wala.
Erap : eh Bakla ka pala e!
Labels: Funny
The Fedex Logo
An arrow that is a symbol of a forward-thinking company.
Cool huh!?! For me it is a one heck of an example of creative marketing.
Labels: Daily Life
Formula One Championship Goes to Wire
After Chinese GP | ||
Hamilton | 107 | |
Alonso | 103 | |
Raikkonen | 100 | |
Massa | 86 | |
Heidfeld | 58 | |
Kubica | 35 | |
Kovalainen | 30 | |
Fisichella | 21 | |
Rosberg | 15 | |
Coulthard | 14 |
Hamilton will also win the title if:
- He finishes sixth or seventh, Alonso is not in the top two and Raikkonen does not win.
- He finishes eighth, Alonso does not secure a podium place and Raikkonen does not finish first or second.
Raikkonen will be champion if:
- He wins, Hamilton is out of the top five and Alonso does not finish second.
- He finishes second, Hamilton is eighth or lower, and Alonso is not on the podium.
Alonso will be champion if:
- He wins the race and Hamilton is third or lower.
- He finishes second and Hamilton is sixth or lower.
- He is third, Hamilton is out of the top seven, and Raikkonen does not win.
- He is fourth, Hamilton does not score points and Raikkonen does not either win or finish second.
Fingers crossed.. Kimi Wins!
Labels: Sports
Software Engineering Proverbs
A clever person solves a problem.
A wise person avoids it.
-- Einstein
André Bensoussan once explained to me
the difference between a programmer and
a designer:
"If you make a general statement, a
programmer says, 'Yes, but...'
while a designer says, 'Yes, and...'"
No matter what the problem is,
it's always a people problem.
-Jerry Weinberg
Wexelblat's Scheduling Algorithm:
Choose two:
* Good
* Fast
* Cheap
Craziness is doing the same thing and
expecting a different result.
Tom DeMarco, rephrasing Einstein, who said
Insanity: doing the same thing over and
over again and expecting different results.
"There's no time to stop for gas, we're
already late"
-- Karin Donker
Deming's 14 points:
1. Create constancy of purpose.
2. Adopt the new philosophy.
3. Cease dependence on mass
inspection to achieve quality.
4. Minimize total cost, not initial
price of supplies.
5. Improve constantly the system of
production and service.
6. Institute training on the job.
7. Institute leadership.
8. Drive out fear.
9. Break down barriers between
departments.
10. Eliminate slogans, exhortations,
and numerical targets.
11. Eliminate work standards (quotas)
and management by objective.
12. Remove barriers that rob workers,
engineers, and managers of their right
to pride of workmanship.
13. Institute a vigorous program of
education and self-improvement.
14. Put everyone in the company to
work to accomplish the transformation.
We know about as much about software
quality problems as they knew about the
Black Plague in the 1600s. We've seen
the victims' agonies and helped burn the
corpses. We don't know what causes it;
we don't really know if there is only
one disease. We just suffer -- and keep
pouring our sewage into our water supply.
-- Tom Van Vleck
The Troops Know
* The schedule doesn't have enough
time for maintenance in it.
* A lot of bugs get past the tests.
* Most old code can't be maintained.
To go faster, slow down. Everybody who
knows about orbital mechanics
understands that.
-- Scott Cherf
Everybody Knows:
* Discipline is the best tool.
* Design first, then code.
* Don't patch bugs out, rewrite them
out.
* Don't test bugs out, design them out.
Everybody Knows:
* If you don't understand it, you
can't program it.
* If you didn't measure it, you
didn't do it.
Everybody Knows:
*If something is worth doing once, it's
worth building a tool to do it.
*Your problem is another's solution;
Your solution will be his problem.
Everybody Knows:
* If you've found 3 bugs in a
program, best estimate is that there are
3 more.
* 60% of product cost comes after
initial shipment.
The significant problems we face cannot
be solved by the same level of thinking
that created them.
-- Albert Einstein
On the radio the other night, Jimmy
Connors said the best advice he ever got
was from Bobby Riggs:
* do it
* do it right
* do it right now
It is not enough to do your best: you
must know what to do, and THEN do your best.
-- W. Edwards Deming
A leader is best when people barely know
that he exists.
Less good when they obey and acclaim him.
Worse when they fear and despise him.
Fail to honor people, and they fail to
honor you.
But of a good leader, when his work is
done, his aim fulfilled,
they will say, "We did this ourselves."
-- Lao-Tzu
You must be the change
You wish to see in the world
-- Gandhi
Experiment escorts us last,
His pungent company
Will not allow an axiom
An opportunity.
-- Emily Dickinson
when the cart stops
do you whip the cart
or whip the ox?
Q: How many QA testers does it take to
change a lightbulb?
A: QA testers don't change anything.
They just report that it's dark.
--Kerry Zallar
Q: How many software engineers does it
take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one. But the house falls down.
--Andrew Siwko
One test is worth a thousand opinions.
"If you didn't write it down, it didn't
happen."
Labels: Software Engineering